Thursday, May 22, 2008
Afternoon at the sk8park
Today i went to stanmore bay skate park. My dad dropped me off at Niks and we skated down to the skatepark. We met stevo on the way.We had a good skate and then I took the bus home.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
My first ollie down the scary steps
The three set got bigger as I rolled up to them. 'Your gonna fall' cried the little voice in my head. I quickly put my foot down and skidded to a halt.'Chicken' laughed the same voice that had told me to stop before. I hate that voice. It always gets me phsycked up and then shatters my confidence like a hammer through glass. I need to get rid of that voice. I need to not think. I pushed twice trying to forget about what I was doing, trying to hold the barrier that protected me from the voice that would make me fail.
I popped my tail, cleared the steps. My board stuck to my feet and landed perfectly on the dusty tiles that were success
I popped my tail, cleared the steps. My board stuck to my feet and landed perfectly on the dusty tiles that were success
Monday, May 19, 2008
T.A.C.O
The year was 2059. We were only 3 years into the War. The War against the New World Government (NWG). Ever since the discovery of the T.A.C.O, the world was never the same. The days were darker, the wars were fiercer, and poverty flourished everywhere you looked. Destruction. Chaos. Death. That's the only way I can describe it. Education had been abolished in nearly every place in the world. But not here. Not at Whangaparaoa College. It was one of three of the last schools in the world, and I happened to be lucky enough to go there. Of the 16,000 students that were at the school last year, only 11 students other than myself remained. The rest had all perished in the first mass T.A.C.O explosion. The weapon was rightly named the Teacher And Child Obliterator, because that is exactly what it did. Little did I know that today, the second bomb would be unleashed.
Chapter 1
Faster. I had to run faster! I can't believe I slept in again! The hover-jeeps were closing in behind me, and I had a gut feeling that they were going to catch me at any second. I was only about 50 metres from the secret entrance to the school, but keeping the whereabouts of the entrance secret was more important than my life. I had to lose them first, all the while trying to avoid the hand-held TA.C.O rays. I just had to keep on running in circles. All I had to do was let them lose sight of me, and then make a dive into the large oak trees. That's what I did last time. Lets just hope it will work again. I sprinted around the corner, and then I made my move. I dove to the left, grazing my knee on the sharp bristles of the trees and bushes. I crouched down in between two large tree trunks and behind a bush. I could hear the jeep slow down, and as I peeped through the leaves I could vaguely make out the NWG logo. The jeep was only hovering a few inches above the ground now, and was going about 5 kilometres an hour. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, with my heart pounding in my throat and my ears straining for any trace of sound for more jeeps. There was nothing except the rustling of the trees to be heard, so I got up and straightened my uniform. Phew, that was close! I walked out on to the dusty road and made my way towards the third bush on the left of the largest oak tree. I pulled apart the shrubbery and felt around for the metal handle that would open the trapdoor. As my hand enclosed around the cold, hard object, I pulled towards me and the trapdoor it the dirt beside me with a loud clang! I scrambled down the long ladder, the darkness around me swallowing me whole. I hit the ground with a thud, and looked around at the dimly lit corridors and rooms that were made out of titanium. I didn't want to think of what Madam Bullwich would do to me if I strolled in late for the second time in 2 weeks. All I knew was that it would be bad. Really bad. I decided I would just face what ever she had in store for me, and hope that she didn't make me wish that I had gotten blasted to oblivion by the T.A.C.O rays. I slowly crept around the corner, praying for the slim chance that I could slip into class unnoticed. But before I could even take a look at my class mates I heard a "FREDERICK BAKER!!!!" And there she was. The long-nosed, grey-haired, hunch-backed old lady with a prison warden voice. "Where the hell have you been," she yelled "and why are you covered in leaves?!??!??!!!" Every part of me was shaking, and managed to mumble something about sleeping in and the NWG. I could see the relief in her eyes that I had made it here safely, but this wasn't going to water-down m punishment. "You are going to write a 6000 word essay on why you can not sleep in during these times, and what will happen if you get yourself caught by the NWG!" I thought I was the luckiest 14 year old boy in the world (and I probably was right)! She had let me off so lightly! Last time. . . . . . . I don't even want to talk about last time. I was about turn around to sit down at my desk when Madam Bullwich added "and then you shall eat it." It felt like a stone dropped into the pit of my stomach. We had run out of flavoured paper yesterday. BANG!
Chapter 1
Faster. I had to run faster! I can't believe I slept in again! The hover-jeeps were closing in behind me, and I had a gut feeling that they were going to catch me at any second. I was only about 50 metres from the secret entrance to the school, but keeping the whereabouts of the entrance secret was more important than my life. I had to lose them first, all the while trying to avoid the hand-held TA.C.O rays. I just had to keep on running in circles. All I had to do was let them lose sight of me, and then make a dive into the large oak trees. That's what I did last time. Lets just hope it will work again. I sprinted around the corner, and then I made my move. I dove to the left, grazing my knee on the sharp bristles of the trees and bushes. I crouched down in between two large tree trunks and behind a bush. I could hear the jeep slow down, and as I peeped through the leaves I could vaguely make out the NWG logo. The jeep was only hovering a few inches above the ground now, and was going about 5 kilometres an hour. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, with my heart pounding in my throat and my ears straining for any trace of sound for more jeeps. There was nothing except the rustling of the trees to be heard, so I got up and straightened my uniform. Phew, that was close! I walked out on to the dusty road and made my way towards the third bush on the left of the largest oak tree. I pulled apart the shrubbery and felt around for the metal handle that would open the trapdoor. As my hand enclosed around the cold, hard object, I pulled towards me and the trapdoor it the dirt beside me with a loud clang! I scrambled down the long ladder, the darkness around me swallowing me whole. I hit the ground with a thud, and looked around at the dimly lit corridors and rooms that were made out of titanium. I didn't want to think of what Madam Bullwich would do to me if I strolled in late for the second time in 2 weeks. All I knew was that it would be bad. Really bad. I decided I would just face what ever she had in store for me, and hope that she didn't make me wish that I had gotten blasted to oblivion by the T.A.C.O rays. I slowly crept around the corner, praying for the slim chance that I could slip into class unnoticed. But before I could even take a look at my class mates I heard a "FREDERICK BAKER!!!!" And there she was. The long-nosed, grey-haired, hunch-backed old lady with a prison warden voice. "Where the hell have you been," she yelled "and why are you covered in leaves?!??!??!!!" Every part of me was shaking, and managed to mumble something about sleeping in and the NWG. I could see the relief in her eyes that I had made it here safely, but this wasn't going to water-down m punishment. "You are going to write a 6000 word essay on why you can not sleep in during these times, and what will happen if you get yourself caught by the NWG!" I thought I was the luckiest 14 year old boy in the world (and I probably was right)! She had let me off so lightly! Last time. . . . . . . I don't even want to talk about last time. I was about turn around to sit down at my desk when Madam Bullwich added "and then you shall eat it." It felt like a stone dropped into the pit of my stomach. We had run out of flavoured paper yesterday. BANG!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Top 10 Things to do at the Shopping Mall
10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.
8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".
3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
2. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on the back of your knuckles permed.
8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke. (Also repeat using Squirty Cheese, A Fire Extinguisher or Mace if desired.)
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of under-pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".
3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
2. Try trousers on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."
Top 20 things to do in a drive through
1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies.
6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ording just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Leave a big 4 litre bottle of ketchup on your dashboard. When asked if you would like ketchup with your meal, laugh sadistically for a few seconds, then adopt a serious expression and gesture to the bottle on your dashboard.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. Drive up to the window. Then, without saying anything, produce a tape-measure. Measure all aspects of the window, make a note of the measurements in a notebook, then drive off.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come out, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "No." Then wind up your window and just sit there staring straight ahead.
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Order 10 large milkshakes. When they arrive, get out of your car, open the bonnet and pour 9 of the milkshakes into the oil filler. Place the remaining milkshake onto the pavement, and stare solemnly at it for three or four minutes with your head bowed. Then drive off. Circle the block for 1 minute, then drive back and do it again.
15. When asked to pay for your order produce a huge bucket of pennies. Attempt to hand the heap of change to the cashier, but 'accidentally' drop it all over the pavement. Spend 10-15 minutes picking it all up, then when you have collected it all, pay by credit card.
16. Attempt to barter for your food. Offer CDs, Cassettes or anything else you have in your car (including friends and family members).
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies.
6. Drive in circles around the drive through, ording just one item of your order each time you pass the window. For added fun, change clothes, hairstyles, glasses and fake beards with each pass.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Leave a big 4 litre bottle of ketchup on your dashboard. When asked if you would like ketchup with your meal, laugh sadistically for a few seconds, then adopt a serious expression and gesture to the bottle on your dashboard.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. Drive up to the window. Then, without saying anything, produce a tape-measure. Measure all aspects of the window, make a note of the measurements in a notebook, then drive off.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come out, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "No." Then wind up your window and just sit there staring straight ahead.
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Order 10 large milkshakes. When they arrive, get out of your car, open the bonnet and pour 9 of the milkshakes into the oil filler. Place the remaining milkshake onto the pavement, and stare solemnly at it for three or four minutes with your head bowed. Then drive off. Circle the block for 1 minute, then drive back and do it again.
15. When asked to pay for your order produce a huge bucket of pennies. Attempt to hand the heap of change to the cashier, but 'accidentally' drop it all over the pavement. Spend 10-15 minutes picking it all up, then when you have collected it all, pay by credit card.
16. Attempt to barter for your food. Offer CDs, Cassettes or anything else you have in your car (including friends and family members).
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.
THings not to ask a chinese person
Do you know what is happening in Beijing in 2008?
Have you seen the Great Wall?
Have you tried Peiking Duck?
Can you use chopsticks?
Can you speak Chinese?
Do you know about Chinese history?
Have you seen the Great Wall?
Have you tried Peiking Duck?
Can you use chopsticks?
Can you speak Chinese?
Do you know about Chinese history?
Things not to say on a plane
Anything in Arabic
Got a match?
I wonder if osama will be proud of me
Can I open the window for some fresh air?
Hi, Jack!
I can't believe I made it past TSA
"Snakes!"
did anyone notice the metal detector did nt work
My shirt is ticking
If you're the pilot: Please be patient with me, Today is my first day.
I get the feeling we're all about to die."
Listen up everyone, this is a hijack! Just kidding...
Hey isn't that the drunk American West pilot
Jihad ah.. Jihad
pilot-next stop the empire state building
10 million bottle of beer on the wall, 10 million bottles of beer...
i hear beeping
Salam Aleikum
This gatorade tastes weird
What heading is Washington D.C
I smell smoke
pilot: im not a pilot but i have drove a bus
i,ve got the runs
Air marshals are panzies, they can't do anything to me
derker derker
Got a match?
I wonder if osama will be proud of me
Can I open the window for some fresh air?
Hi, Jack!
I can't believe I made it past TSA
"Snakes!"
did anyone notice the metal detector did nt work
My shirt is ticking
If you're the pilot: Please be patient with me, Today is my first day.
I get the feeling we're all about to die."
Listen up everyone, this is a hijack! Just kidding...
Hey isn't that the drunk American West pilot
Jihad ah.. Jihad
pilot-next stop the empire state building
10 million bottle of beer on the wall, 10 million bottles of beer...
i hear beeping
Salam Aleikum
This gatorade tastes weird
What heading is Washington D.C
I smell smoke
pilot: im not a pilot but i have drove a bus
i,ve got the runs
Air marshals are panzies, they can't do anything to me
derker derker
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